I write to normalize the sacred act of taking a dump.
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iPhone Status: Alive. Today a client told me her phone survived the pedicure spa basin without having to keep it in a cup of rice afterward. Apparently, if you have a solid case on your phone, an iPhone can go…
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There’s Something In The Water.
Everyone’s been figuratively and literally dropping crap in the water here in Lobitos, Peru. We are down two cameras due to faulty underwater housing and today, I may have to kiss my IPhone goodbye due to negligent toilet behavior. As…
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The Aqua Dump.
I’ve been urinating in the ocean only since 2005. I remember drinking heavily at a July 4th boat party in Miami that year, and desperately needing to break the seal. Most of the boat bathrooms were either closed for use…
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Friends Don’t Let Friends Crap Their Pants.
Day Four. My housemates continue to educate me on even more flushing solutions when faced with an H2O shortage. While on a 20 minute long distance call with her boyfriend all about his recent food poisoning diarrhea, this housemate suddenly…
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Just Add Water.
My last blog post brings me to an important point. If you are taking a dump at your boyfriend’s for the first time, make sure there is enough water in the back tank simply by making sure that the black…
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Moving Toilets and Whatnot.
I’ve made it safely to Lobitos, Peru, but not without any bathroom issues. Bathroom problems only leave room for solutions and blog material, so I welcome a good bathroom challenge. I hope to enlighten you. Getting to Lobitos entails a…
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Not So Private.
I arrived in Peru safely Friday night and stayed in the same hostel I enjoyed four years ago. Although I stayed in a private room with my own private bathroom across the hallway, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that I’m…
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The Airplane Poo.
I’m at the airport squeezing in one last blog post before my flight to Peru, and hopefully soon squeezing out a nice juicy log before boarding time. As I sit here in the lavish business center I think I just…
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Cover Or Hover?
Once again, my mother is to blame for my paranoia. She has had almost complete control of my bathroom habits for the first half of my life thus far. It was with her that I first experienced the luxury of a public…
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The 60 Percent.
In observance of Holy Week, I would like to point out a modern day blessing: the public restroom. For most parts of the USA, we not only have access to toilets in our home, but in our parks, schools, stores,…
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