As with any weight loss journey, I believe the first step in one’s fertility journey should be cleaning out your system. A deep clean speeds everything up (ie metabolism, conception) because it removes the heavy burden of digesting old ass shit, freeing your body to receive nutrients, burn off excess and ultimately produce results. WhileContinue reading “Fertility and Shit…”
Author Archives: Doody Free Girl
It’s Time For Some New Shit…
I am excited to announce that Elayne (not pronounced “Elaine,” but “eh-line-ay”), is joining the Doody Free Girl team! For six years, I never even entertained the idea of hiring anyone until my colleague Vania Bencosme (who I adore and is an amazing colon therapist in NYC) recommended her good friend and mentee, Elayne. Elayne’sContinue reading “It’s Time For Some New Shit…”
A Labor Pain in My Ass
My gut had been telling me my daughter would arrive earlier than her due date and per usual, it turned out to be correct. Baby Sofia arrived almost a week early on the morning of 11/23 when I had originally planned on taking maternity leave. My water broke at 440am at which time I textedContinue reading “A Labor Pain in My Ass”
The Braxton Shits
With my 11/29 due date approaching, I was convinced that I was in labor Saturday morning. I woke up around 4am with fleeting abdominal cramps, so I started timing my contractions, which were about 30 minutes apart. From all of my research and confirmation from my doula, I understand that there’s no need to rushContinue reading “The Braxton Shits”
Butt Implants
The colon is responsible for absorbing liquid from the waste it is processing, essentially baking your shit into a solid Yule log. So by that very same token, your colon readily absorbs some of the water that is used to flush the colon during a colonic. And using that logic, I’ve decided to start administeringContinue reading “Butt Implants”
Vitamin See
About eight years ago, one of my most thoughtful clients gave me a book called The Program for Better Vision, How to See Better in Minutes a Day without Glasses or Contacts! by Martin Sussman. At the time, I was about 30 years old, which made it the most appropriate gift since she had correctedContinue reading “Vitamin See”
No Sleep Til’…This Shit is Over?
This quarantine has proven a stressful time for everyone. A record number of people have filed for unemployment, parents are now forced to homeschool their kids (God bless…), and the number of those diagnosed with the Corona Virus is steadily increasing along with the number of deaths. Needless to say, many people are losing sleepContinue reading “No Sleep Til’…This Shit is Over?”
Just What The Doctor Ordered…
Dr. Leo Galland shares a complete Corona Virus protocol on his website. Dr. Galland kindly spells out for us how the COVID-19 is actually a 2 phase illness, where 80% of people who contract the disease only suffer from mild symptoms during Phase 1 (fatigue, aches, pains, sore throat) for about five days (not needingContinue reading “Just What The Doctor Ordered…”
Corona Virus
While everyone is busy stockpiling toilet paper, my ass is more concerned with stockpiling beneficial bacteria in my system to deal with the threat of COVID-19. If I run out of TP, I will rely on a good ole’ shower or squirt bottle to clean my ass. What’s most important is that we keep ourContinue reading “Corona Virus”
For Shit Sake
Nothing really gets me going like grown adults shitting their pants. Luckily, my clients feel comfortable sharing their juicy stories with me and lucky for you, they don’t mind me sharing them. One day, I will compile them all into a neatly sized bathroom book, For Shit Sake, because everyone can use a little motivationContinue reading “For Shit Sake”