Great Minds Shit Alike.

I had the honor of talking shit with one of my health and colonic mentors, Mike Perrine, on his EveryDayDetox podcast. Mike is the owner of Vitality NYC, where I work on the first Tuesday of every month. You can book me for a colonic in NYC on the Vitality NYC website. Hope you enjoyContinue reading “Great Minds Shit Alike.”

Totally Anal

For the most part, colonics are nothing like anal sex. For one, colonics will consistently involve a sufficient amount of lubrication. Secondly, there is a medical grade speculum (not a giant penis) gently inserted into the rectum that will remain stationary and feel virtually invisible for the remainder of the procedure. Unlike anal sex, womenContinue reading “Totally Anal”

Just Add Water.

My last blog post brings me to an important point. If you are taking a dump at your boyfriend’s for the first time, make sure there is enough water in the back tank simply by making sure that the black floaty balloon thing is in fact, floating. If not, figure out a way to transportContinue reading “Just Add Water.”

Express Yourself.

Today was a “water day” and not because it’s raining outside, but because the water at the Doody Free Girl headquarters was shut off due to maintenance, and therefore, all colonic appointments had to be cancelled. So I got to stay home and ponder ways in which you can express yourself and start talking crapContinue reading “Express Yourself.”

The Most Important Conversation.

A special bond forms when talking crap with my clients. I stick tubes up their rears and diarrhea of the mouth ensues. I always joke that I have really gotten to know NYC through the rear, but it’s the truth. Colonics are not exclusively an activity of the rich and famous nor the crunchy newContinue reading “The Most Important Conversation.”

Because Sleep Farts Happen.

A client last week told me that a fart woke her up that morning. Better her than her boyfriend. Mastering the silent rip is an art. Ladies, we all fart in our sleep. Sleep farts are a necessary evil that keep us from feeling like a bloated whale all day. While your midnight farts soundContinue reading “Because Sleep Farts Happen.”

Why You Really Need A Plunger In Your Bathroom.

Girls and boys, a proper bathroom should be outfitted with common emergency materials. The following advice is derived from actual events. 1. Keep a plunger directly next to your toilet, not in your laundry room, janitor’s closet etc. Why? Because your girlfriend just may take a massive dump and clog your toilet. Trust me, sheContinue reading “Why You Really Need A Plunger In Your Bathroom.”

Got Gas?

Yeah you do and so does your boyfriend. Unless you guys think it’s cute to look like you’re expecting, I assure you there are no benefits to holding in your gas. There is nothing more despicable than a poorly executed fart. I’m not into Dutch Ovens or any sort of loud, smelly varieties. I’m aContinue reading “Got Gas?”