The Vanity Mirror

For such an appropriately beautiful word, “vanity” has a bad rep. If you know me personally or have read or listened to any of my interviews, you know I unapologetically got into my line of work ten years ago for vanity and vanity alone. I had no digestive issues, no major recovery, no comeback story.Continue reading “The Vanity Mirror”

Totally Anal

For the most part, colonics are nothing like anal sex. For one, colonics will consistently involve a sufficient amount of lubrication. Secondly, there is a medical grade speculum (not a giant penis) gently inserted into the rectum that will remain stationary and feel virtually invisible for the remainder of the procedure. Unlike anal sex, womenContinue reading “Totally Anal”

Jersey CitiKitty

For those following Micro’s potty training journey, I owe you a CitiKitty update. It’s taken about a year to train her because I had to start from scratch after she was “fixed” this past spring. After surgery, she had to wear the cone of shame, which made jumping up onto the toilet next to impossible.Continue reading “Jersey CitiKitty”

Breastmilk Is For Babies.

Last year for my birthday, my brother gifted me a 23andMe heredity kit to see if we were, in fact, related. Turns out we are both definitively at least 50% “East Asian & Native American,” which apparently puts me down for “likely lactose intolerant.” I honestly never thought about this. I knew that certain cultures,Continue reading “Breastmilk Is For Babies.”

Summer Smooth Move Smoothie

Green smoothies are my favorite breakfast or lunch and sometimes I have a smoothie for both breakfast and lunch! Having a green smoothie is a fast and easy way to make sure you are getting your greens, antioxidants, vitamins, fiber and a good shit. Depending on what you put in your smoothies, they are generally easyContinue reading “Summer Smooth Move Smoothie”

Charcoal for Your Ass and Teeth!

Activated charcoal seems to be all the rage this year. Being in the ass business, I’ve learned from Tom DeVito that activated charcoal should be recommended for food poisoning and from Mike Perrine that it can used for heavy metal detox as well. I have also learned from a client that it can help with excessiveContinue reading “Charcoal for Your Ass and Teeth!”

Put Your Best Shit Forward

I have a confession: I’m a hypocrite. One of my pet peeves is everyone’s portrayal of perfection on social media, yet I only put my best shit forward as well. You’ve seen my cat, Micro, peeing and pooping like a champ day in and day out on my Instagram Story. She effortlessly hops up onContinue reading “Put Your Best Shit Forward”

Wet Dreams

I’m never one to analyze my dreams unless it’s something weird like giving birth, chewing gum sticking to the roof of my mouth or not being able to run away from danger. Apparently, I pop babies out pretty easily, but trying to scrape off chewing gum that’s melted all over the roof of my mouthContinue reading “Wet Dreams”

Dried Up?

My mother has always justified her potato chip habit as a means of greasing her engines. Her mother would always tell her to eat oil to avoid feeling dry (must be some Chinese shit). Needless to say, I’ve grown up having no qualms about eating oil and love me some potato chips….new fave here. So whileContinue reading “Dried Up?”

Magnesium For Your Shit Stress

Many clients find me after reaching the end of their rope with meaningless diagnosis (ahem, IBS, ahem), medications, dietary changes, psychics, “healers”….you name it. It’s most rewarding for me to work with new clients who’ve just about exhausted all avenues because they ultimately come to the truth: everyone (especially thyself) is full of shit! Digging through my blog, youContinue reading “Magnesium For Your Shit Stress”