Ugh, the thought of apple cider is utterly nauseating at this point. My tongue has turned white and I had so much putrid gas last night (thank God I didn’t have a date!) that I had to give myself a colonic this morning after my first client. Next cleanse, I am going to opt for the alternatives to drinking so much apple cider. The amount of sugar has been giving me cold-like symptoms (headaches, sore throat), not to mention gas and bloat! Andreas Moritz does warn of this in the book and offers up some alternatives to apple juice such as food grade malic acid mixed with water, apple cider vinegar mixed with water or some other weird herb you can take mixed with water. These alternatives are more suitable for those with blood sugar issues and candida/yeast issues. I think this cleanse is giving me a yeast issue.

At least I’m halfway through my apple cider for the day! Hooray!

Man, it is proving difficult to ingest all of this fluid with all of these rules!! Yesterday, I ended up just eating one hearty meal around 4pm because I was too busy drinking apple cider, tea and water all day! I hadn’t even finished drinking everything by the time I ate, so I had to wait two hours after dinner to continue drinking all three beverages. I broke the rule of not drinking in the evening, but I figured it’s more important to get it all in than abide by that stupid rule.

My work involves squeezing tubes with my right hand and abdomens with my left hand for a solid hour, so it’s hard for me to sip on anything while I’m working. I managed to sip on my tea because I keep it in a thermos with a very convenient squeeze button that opens the mouth hole. My mother gave me this brilliant Contigo thermos and I seriously think it is one of the greatest things she’s ever given me. I guarantee she bought it at Costco in case you were wondering where you could pick one up. I’ll probably use it to drink plain water once I’m done with this cleanse. It’s become evident to me that I’m not drinking enough fluid in general due to the nature of my business, which is ironic considering how much water I use to flush my clients out!

I’m enjoying my clear pee. That is all.

Happy Friday!

I forgot to mention the anal-ness of when and how you’re supposed to drink the aforementioned fluids. Both kidney cleanse tea and apple juice or cider are to be sipped (not drunk like a glass of water) throughout the day before evening. You should not drink the apple beverage an hour before eating nor two hours after eating. And you should not drink the kidney cleanse tea for an hour after eating. Also, these particular beverages along with all beverages ingested should be warm or room temperature, never cold because cold fluids freeze the liver and can hamper cleansing mode.

Since I’ve been drinking pasteurized apple cider (not fresh pressed), I figured leaving it out on the counter for 48 hours wasn’t a big deal, but I was wrong. This morning, the 59 ounce bottle of juice I started on yesterday had mold in it, so i chucked it and got a new bottle out of the refrigerator. Seeing as the cider was cold, I quickly thought back to a recent ski house weekend complete with warm apple cider, and decided to heat it up. I mean, who doesn’t like warm apple cider in the morning??

Til tomorrow!

I had another suicidal menstrual cramping episode this weekend, which scared me because it was by far the worst one yet. In high school, I would literally pass out all the time when I had my period because the pain was unbearable. I remember being sprawled out across two small wooden chairs in my art class while a tour was being held for middle schoolers to see the high school. I had those “I don’t give a shit cramps.” I would usually pass out after an hour or two of those and instantly feel better. I welcomed a good faint.

But now that I’m older and wiser, I realize this is not normal. It’s been a while since I’ve experienced that sort of pain, so it’s been off my radar, but I’m seeing this episode as a sign that I seriously need to address my blood circulation. It’s not a mere matter of hormone production. I spent all of Friday night in labor. I seriously felt like I was having a baby and just wanted to faint and wake up in the morning feeling better, but that never happened. The night was a mixed bag of chills and legs filled with pins & needles alternating with hot flashes, diarrhea, dry heaving, light headedness and praying until the sun came up. None of this is unusual for these episodes, however, I do usually pass out at some point. My old college roommate happen to be sleeping over, so she heat up my herb pack once she woke up and took care of me just like the good old days. Friends rule.

So this brings me to the liver flush. Andreas Moritz, author of The Liver and Gallbladder Miracle Cleanse, believes that most issues in the body stem from a congested liver and gallbladder, including circulation. The liver is the largest gland in the body and responsible for filtering three pints of blood per minute amongst hundreds of other tasks. A client of mine who just graduated from a Physical Therapy program told me that the one thing she was most impressed by after countless dissections was how HUGE our liver is! It weighs up to three pounds and spans almost the entire width of the body. So it begs to take care of your liver!

Today marks Day 1 of my liver/gallbladder cleanse. When cleansing the liver and gallbladder, it’s important to also cleanse the kidneys to avoid any kidney stones. This can easily be done by drinking Andreas Moritz herbal concoction of kidney cleansing herbs for 20 days. I followed the instructions by soaking the tea overnight and then boiling and straining it this morning into a thermos, ready to be sipped throughout the day. I started my day by slowly drinking two glasses of organic apple cider. I’m already halfway done with my apple cider requirements for the day! Judging by the amount of apple cider in my fridge, I thought drinking 32 ounces of apple cider a day for six days would be nauseating, but so far, it’s delicious! The purpose for drinking apple juice is to ingest the malic acid contained in apples, which help soften the stones I will be passing on Day 6 of the cleanse.

Moritz warns that you may experience bloating or diarrhea from the apple juice at first. I did already have two bowel movements, the second one being a little diarrhea-ish. I’m not mad about that.

Until tomorrow! Have a blessed day 🙂

Resources: The Liver and Gallbladder Miracle Cleanse by Andreas Moritz