I write to normalize the sacred act of taking a dump.
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In a past life, I was a realtor in Miami Beach. I totally sucked at it and felt completely unfulfilled as a result (or the cause?). It felt like my life was a series of annoying people and different lockbox…
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Jersey CitiKitty
For those following Micro’s potty training journey, I owe you a CitiKitty update. It’s taken about a year to train her because I had to start from scratch after she was “fixed” this past spring. After surgery, she had to…
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Labor Day Hours
If shit ain’t happening for you this summer, come visit me this weekend! I’ll be open Sunday and Monday for End of Summer cleanings. Book your ass online!
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Breastmilk Is For Babies.
Last year for my birthday, my brother gifted me a 23andMe heredity kit to see if we were, in fact, related. Turns out we are both definitively at least 50% “East Asian & Native American,” which apparently puts me down…
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Summer Smooth Move Smoothie
Green smoothies are my favorite breakfast or lunch and sometimes I have a smoothie for both breakfast and lunch! Having a green smoothie is a fast and easy way to make sure you are getting your greens, antioxidants, vitamins, fiber and…
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Lymphatic Drainage: A Cellular Colonic
I hate showering, so imagine how much I love getting lubed up during a massage. This is the main reason I do not get massages more often, despite my belief that human touch is critical to overall wellness (even if you have to pay…
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Charcoal for Your Ass and Teeth!
Activated charcoal seems to be all the rage this year. Being in the ass business, I’ve learned from Tom DeVito that activated charcoal should be recommended for food poisoning and from Mike Perrine that it can used for heavy metal detox…
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Fourth of July Schedule
I just arrived in Sweden to celebrate my beautiful friend and creative genius behind the Doody Free Girl shit campaign, Ylva Erevall. Therefore, doody services are suspended until I return on Wednesday. Please note that I probably won’t have access to a…
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Back That Ass Up
I’m a huge fan of the late John. A. Pagano, a chiropractor and free thinker who wrote Healing Psoriasis in the 90s when the United States was heading more in the direction of chemical convenience and less in the direction…
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Memorial Day Weekend Forecast: Shit
This weekend is looking like rain with a chance of shit balls. So take advantage of this last opportunity to get your beach belly ready for the big reveal! I’m around all weekend, folks. Make your gravity colonic appointment for Saturday…
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