Author: Doody Free Girl
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Winter Weather Advisory
We are having our very first snow day here in New Jersey and I want to advise everyone to stay safe and near a toilet on a day like this when you decide to play around with your laxatives. Laxatives are not something to be taken regularly, but if your constipation is fucking up your…
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Please Stop Pooping Your Pants.
There’s truly nothing I enjoy more than a good Shit Your Pants story, unless it involves a toddler whose shit I need to clean up. You would think with 16 years experience as a certified bowel movement advocate, I would be prime for potty training, but I was most certainly not cut out for this…
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How I Feel About Fasting…
I was in my 20s when I picked up the book, The Raw Food Detox Diet by Natalia Rose, which introduced me to colonics and a host of other health-related hacks I became obsessed with including juice fasting, food combining, infrared saunas, dry brushing, trampolines and unadulterated sunshine. At the time, I was struggling with…
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The Coffee Enema
I realize I have taken a serious break from writing, but I literally don’t have time to wipe my own ass these days (thank God for my ass-blasting handheld bidet) with a 15 month old attached to my tits. Butt…I took the day off from motherhood today for this shit, so read up! I’ve expressed…
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Fertility and Shit…
As with any weight loss journey, I believe the first step in one’s fertility journey should be cleaning out your system. A deep clean speeds everything up (ie metabolism, conception) because it removes the heavy burden of digesting old ass shit, freeing your body to receive nutrients, burn off excess and ultimately produce results. While…