Author: Doody Free Girl
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Please Stop Pooping Your Pants.
There’s truly nothing I enjoy more than a good Shit Your Pants story, unless it involves a toddler whose shit I need to clean up. You would think with 16 years experience as a certified bowel movement advocate, I would be prime for potty training, but I was most certainly not cut out for this…
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Don’t Smell Like Shit.
Body odor, in many cases, stems from your gut. Ever notice how your neighbor in your yoga class smells like curry or garlic? I promise you they weren’t born smelling delicious. They most likely have an affinity for curry or in my case, Cuban mojo (a delicious garlicky, citrus oily concoction designed to pour generously…
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New Year, New Moon, New Plan.
I’m no economist, but my gut tells me that January is generally a profitable month for all things self-care: gym memberships, psychotherapy (after surviving holidays with the family and attempting to survive seasonal affective disorder), diet books/meal plan delivery like The Whole 30 (not sure how this is unique to Paleo, but many of my…
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How I Feel About Fasting…
I was in my 20s when I picked up the book, The Raw Food Detox Diet by Natalia Rose, which introduced me to colonics and a host of other health-related hacks I became obsessed with including juice fasting, food combining, infrared saunas, dry brushing, trampolines and unadulterated sunshine. At the time, I was struggling with…
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The Coffee Enema
I realize I have taken a serious break from writing, but I literally don’t have time to wipe my own ass these days (thank God for my ass-blasting handheld bidet) with a 15 month old attached to my tits. Butt…I took the day off from motherhood today for this shit, so read up! I’ve expressed…
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Fertility and Shit…
As with any weight loss journey, I believe the first step in one’s fertility journey should be cleaning out your system. A deep clean speeds everything up (ie metabolism, conception) because it removes the heavy burden of digesting old ass shit, freeing your body to receive nutrients, burn off excess and ultimately produce results. While…
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It’s Time For Some New Shit…
I am excited to announce that Elayne (not pronounced “Elaine,” but “eh-line-ay”), is joining the Doody Free Girl team! For six years, I never even entertained the idea of hiring anyone until my colleague Vania Bencosme (who I adore and is an amazing colon therapist in NYC) recommended her good friend and mentee, Elayne. Elayne’s…
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A Labor Pain in My Ass
My gut had been telling me my daughter would arrive earlier than her due date and per usual, it turned out to be correct. Baby Sofia arrived almost a week early on the morning of 11/23 when I had originally planned on taking maternity leave. My water broke at 440am at which time I texted…