Today is my first day back to work from the holiday break and I am so excited to PUMP. SOME. ASS. On my first day back from a trip, I always find myself wondering with my first client what would happen if I just completely forgot how to give a colonic? Or even worse, what if someone had switched roles with me? I watched this hilarious movie on the plane called Good Fortune where Aziz Ansari and Seth Rogen switched roles The Parent Trap-style. Thankfully for me, giving colonics is like riding a bike after 17 years of muscle memory. I can probably even do it with my eyes closed, but I prefer to be on alert in case things get messy.

And yes, shit happens. Colonics can get messy and it’s truly no big deal. I wouldn’t expect to deliver a baby without shitting the table (trust me, if you delivered your kid vaginally you fucking shit the table I don’t care what anyone told you). In both scenarios, you’re laying on super absorbent wee wee pads for a reason. Everyone at Doody Free Girl is equipped to handle the unexpected with extra pads, disinfectant and unlimited butt wipes for your ass in the bathroom. Because life can get messy and shit is always better out than in. Namaste.