There’s truly nothing I enjoy more than a good Shit Your Pants story, unless it involves a toddler whose shit I need to clean up. You would think with 16 years experience as a certified bowel movement advocate, I would be prime for potty training, but I was most certainly not cut out for this shit.
I read somewhere that at least 50% of human neurosis stems from potty training, which only dramatically increases the pressure of not fucking your kid up while trying to keep them from fucking up the sectional you waited a whole year to receive during a pandemic year when furniture delays and furniture store bankruptcies threatened a $7K loss. For the record, she only peed on it once and yes, I still love her.
That said, we took it very slow and I’m very proud that my girl loves to poop as much as I do! My 4 year old is potty trained for the most part. She loves announcing when she has to poop, but still sleeps with a diaper because I’m not ready to lose even more sleep cleaning sheets everyday. I’m no expert in potty training, but I didn’t want to rush the process if it meant potentially giving her chronic anxiety because anxiety truly does begin and end in the gut.
My new childrens book, Please Stop Pooping Your Pants is a heartfelt tribute to motherhood, capturing the humorous yet emotional rollercoaster of potty training. Regardless of background or parenting style, every mother shares one common goal: to put an end to the endless cycle of changing and smelling shitty diapers. A humbling, yet daring dream, Please Stop Pooping Your Pants wishes to provide comfort and camaraderie to all struggling mothers fighting the good fight for emotional wellbeing, hygiene, and moreover peace of mind.
A book for new moms or moms in the throes of it. Shit happens. Get used to it!