Thankfully, I had no clients booked today because I could hardly muster up the courage to get out of my body-heated bed this morning. Inconveniently, the heater in my apartment does not work well in my drafty apartment when it’s fucking freezing outside. So I spent the day cleaning my apartment and doing laundry to…

For the most part, colonics are nothing like anal sex. For one, colonics will consistently involve a sufficient amount of lubrication. Secondly, there is a medical grade speculum (not a giant penis) gently inserted into the rectum that will remain stationary and feel virtually invisible for the remainder of the procedure. Unlike anal sex, women…

If you don’t follow the Hoboken Girl Blog, you’re missing out because I am a regular contributor for all things vegan, health and wellness in Jersey City! Om.life wellness spa just opened in Jersey City and I couldn’t be more excited to share the benefits of floating. Nourishing to the mind, body and spirit, floating…

For those following Micro’s potty training journey, I owe you a CitiKitty update. It’s taken about a year to train her because I had to start from scratch after she was “fixed” this past spring. After surgery, she had to wear the cone of shame, which made jumping up onto the toilet next to impossible.…

If shit ain’t happening for you this summer, come visit me this weekend! I’ll be open Sunday and Monday for End of Summer cleanings. Book your ass online!  

I hate showering, so imagine how much I love getting lubed up during a massage. This is the main reason I do not get massages more often, despite my belief that human touch is critical to overall wellness (even if you have to pay for it). Contrary to popular belief, massages are not cost prohibitive. Trade with a friend/partner…

I just arrived in Sweden to celebrate my beautiful friend and creative genius behind the Doody Free Girl shit campaign, Ylva Erevall. Therefore, doody services are suspended until I return on Wednesday. Please note that I probably won’t have access to a phone, so if you need to reach me with your shitty questions, please email me.…

I’m a huge fan of the late John. A. Pagano, a chiropractor and free thinker who wrote Healing Psoriasis in the 90s when the United States was heading more in the direction of chemical convenience and less in the direction of holistic healing. I will sum his book up with this: cleanse your liver, get…

You may already be aware that I am a big fan of Pilates…and especially its founder, Joseph Pilates. Literally a freak of nature, Joseph Pilates was a circus performer, bodybuilder, professional boxer and self defense trainer. Born in Germany, he moved to England in 1912 to box and teach self defense at police schools. When…

I have a confession: I’m a hypocrite. One of my pet peeves is everyone’s portrayal of perfection on social media, yet I only put my best shit forward as well. You’ve seen my cat, Micro, peeing and pooping like a champ day in and day out on my Instagram Story. She effortlessly hops up on…