GRAVITY INFRARED COLONIC 200 USD 
TREATMENT DURATION: 45 MINUTES
Closed system gravity colonics are gentle and natural. They are the most effective manner to irrigate the last three to five feet of your intestinal tract. It is also known as your Large Intestine or your Colon. Water is safely flushed through the anal cavity using sterilized medical grade equipment. This is achieved by using only filtered water in an elevated tank along with the gravitational pull of the Earth. All of the waste matter travels through a tube and directly down the drain. I am present throughout the entire treatment. I thoroughly massage your abdomen with essential oils. You rest on a warm Biomat emitting healing infrared. This infrared is proven to boost circulation, decrease inflammation and alleviate minor joint pain. Also included is a chlorophyll “implant” to be implanted through the rectum. I promise it isn’t awkward! I’ll play my favorite music and you will leave feeling lighter and more energized!

LIVER DETOX (COLONIC + COFFEE IMPLANT) 250 USD
TREATMENT DURATION: 1 HOUR
For a complete detox, combine a coffee implant with your colonic treatment. This combination enhances liver detox. It also boosts glutathione production. Coffee implants are commonly used in Gerson therapy and holistic rehab. They help reduce liver toxins by opening bile ducts. This process promotes bile flow and boosts glutathione levels. Glutathione is a powerful antioxidant that cleans the blood of free radicals, allowing the liver to eliminate more toxins. After 40 minutes of bowel cleansing, organic coffee is inserted and held for 12-15 minutes. This process lets the blood circulate through the liver multiple times. During this time, a castor oil “pack” will be placed on the abdomen to support detoxification.

CHECK AVAILABILITY AND BOOK ONLINE NOW!

**PLEASE RESPECT OUR 48 HOUR CANCELLATION POLICY.  LAST MINUTE CANCELLATIONS ARE SUBJECT TO 100% PAYMENT FOR SERVICES BOOKED**

FOR MALE CLIENTS: WE DO NOT OFFER HAPPY ENDINGS. Unfortunately, enough pervert encounters have forced us to explicitly state the obvious to all new male clients. Please keep your balls tucked in and your junk covered at all times.

For optimal results, please fast at least three hours prior to treatment. Do not consume any fluids at least one hour before treatment. Plan on liquid fasting for at least three hours post treatment (preferably the rest of the day). Do not overeat and plan on sticking to a light vegan diet (no meat or dairy).  I recommend either sticking to fruit or having a vegetable soup (choose one or the other). Whatever you do, just don’t be like this guy. Once you book your appointment, you’ll receive more detailed instructions in your inbox (or SPAM box). If you have any further questions, do not hesitate to contact me.

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor (not even a little bit) or a prostitute, just a glorified plumber. It is always a good idea to consult with your doctor first. Although I’m not a doctor, I only use medical grade equipment (no cheap disposable plastic equipment). Men are always welcome, just no pervs. 

***********************

READ THE FINE PRINT

Please note that the following conditions may deem candidate ineligible for colonics unless approved/prescribed by physician: colon cancer, kidney disease/dialysis, renal failure or insufficiency, cirrhosis of the liver, anemia (severe), aneurysm, carcinoma, cardiac disease, hypertension (uncontrolled), Crohn’s disease, congestive heart failure, diverticulitis (acute), fissures/fistulas, GI hemorrhage/perforation, hemorrhoids (excessive bleeding present), herniation, prostatitis, recent abdominal surgery (last six months), tumors, and ulcerative colitis.

Detox side effects/symptoms may include, but not limited to: temporary fatigue, bloating, light headedness, cramping or headache. To minimize the chance of experiencing any side effects, I always suggest fasting for three hours prior to the colonic and to refrain from drinking any liquids at least one hour prior to treatment. Also recommended, but not mandatory is fasting (ingesting only green juices, herbal tea and water) for the remainder of the day post treatment. Otherwise, I suggest fasting for an additional three to four hours post treatment and eating very lightly for the rest of the day, making sure not to ingest any animal products (meat or dairy).

Pregnant women are also unsuitable candidates for this procedure, which totally sucks because they are the most constipated!