I’ve already established that I love all things that smell good and a good-smelling candle is no exception. There’s something sweet and welcoming about a lit candle, especially in unexpected corners of a home such as the bathroom. So my new addition to the Doody Free Girl space are my handmade Bathroom Soy Travel Candles scented with lemongrass essential oil and complete with Doody Free Girl Shit-Anywhere matches.  Take these on your next trip to ensure a romantic bathroom experience anywhere. Stop by the shop!

I am on the airplane right now heading from Tokyo to Hong Kong. I am a new fan of Cathay Pacific Airways. I hate to admit it, but I wasn’t looking all forward to this trip solely based on the 24 hours of travel time from NYC to Japan via Hong Kong. I thought that this would be the longest I’d ever traveled in one shot, but I conveniently forgot about the 17 hour bus ride to Lobitos, Peru preceded by the 7 hour flight to Lima last year, which I’ve actually taken numerous times already. In comparison, the flight to Hong Kong is a breeze with its selection of music and movies, clean bathrooms and free wine.

I’ve even discovered a few new genres of music I enjoy! I can’t tell you what they are, but there’s a group called Caribou, a girl named Taylor Swift and something called Hed Kandi (a mix of various artists). I’ve been listening to all of the above ad nauseam.

I’ve also had time to catch up on some Oscar noms and other movies. I just finished watching This is Where I Leave You, featuring Jason Bateman, Jane Fonda, and Tina Fey. A client of mine had told me about this movie a while ago, but I completely forgot about it and just finally got a chance to see it. I must say I absolutely adored this movie and did not want it to end! I love a movie that will make me laugh like an idiot on an airplane. There’s even an entire potty training element to the movie with a little boy fully committed to potty training, dragging his potty everywhere he goes. After tossing his T-shaped poops at his dad doesn’t go over so well, the little boy learns to drag his ass and his potty outside whenever he needs to take a dump. You’ll catch him pooping in his potty on the front step, the back porch and even in the basement while his mom is trying to screw her brother-in-law. I’m telling you, this movie has it all!

In any case, just thought you’d appreciate an update. I’ve been getting emails from you all asking if I’m coming home. Trust me, I am SO looking forward to opening Doody Free Girl in Jersey City next week and seeing you all! I’m back late tomorrow night, but dead to the world until Thursday.

xoxo
j

I have finally arrived at my hotel in Nagano, Japan after what has amounted to nearly 30 hours of travel time from NYC. This trip has been planned for about six months now and is coincidentally serving as a  businessMOON as I will be opening Doody Free Girl right when I get back on March 16th. (So book your gravity colonic appointment online now!)

What started out as a snowboarding trip to Japan has quickly become an investigative research project into all things Asian, namely snacks and toilets. It all started on the airplanes. We first flew 16 hours from JFK to Hong Kong followed by a two hour layover in the Hong Kong airport lounge, a three hour flight to Tokyo and finally, a five hour bus ride to Nagano. While I always recommend that clients not eat on the plane to avoid gas and bloat, I cannot resist airplane food no matter how shitty it is. I will eat whatever is served to me especially if it is foreign and tasty and I will deal with the consequences. So one dinner, fifty snacks and three brunches later, I am feeling like a bloated whale on all counts. Even my legs are bloated despite the compression socks I wore. The only advice I have from this experience is to fart on the plane and to fart often. Everyone is sleeping anyway. Go to the bathroom and pee often because you’ll be surprised at how much gas pressure is relieved once you pee.

This brings me to the Japanese and their profound respect for the wash room. My first experience was at the rest stop on our last leg of travel in Japan. While purchasing some mystery Japanese snacks, it was unbeknownst to me that I was about to have the most luxurious bathroom experience ever, never mind at a rest stop. I walked in to the enormous restroom and there was a digital switchboard informing you which stalls were available. Each stall has generous room and a heated toilet seat complete with bidet attachment. I did not have enough time to play around with the bidet, nor did I want to because my Seattle experience left a scar, but sitting on a warm toilet seat at a cold rest stop is priceless!

In our hotel room, the entire bathroom is small and efficient, resembling that of a room on a cruise ship. The faucet for the sink doubles as the faucet for the shower. And of course, the toilet has a bidet attachment! This one is slightly different than anything I’ve ever experienced because the bowl fills with water the second you sit on the toilet seat. Although I  cannot seem to find much logic in that even with regards to water efficiency, I’m sure there is sound reason behind it. The Japanese seem to be winning at life. I mean, have you seen how they fold their socks??