Non-Crusty Winter Skin? Yes, please.

Hey all! Hope you’re having a great weekend. I am typing this on my way home from a ski trip to Sugarbush Mountain in Vermont with my brother and his girlfriend. Just thought I’d share a skin tip with those suffering from dry skin this winter. It’s been pretty cold up here with some days requiring a face mask while snowboarding. I noticed that my fleece-lined face mask not only helped my face stay warm, but also very soft and hydrated from my very own CO2! So find yourself a fleece lined scarf that you can cover the lower half of your face with during the colder, dryer days.

Another tip is not to leave the house without slabbing some raw shea butter on your face to protect your face against the elements. Shea butter naturally contains SPF 6 and is also anti-aging, so just do it. You can learn more about shea butter and all my other tricks by signing up for my skin cleanse newsletter on the Colonic Services page. Join the Matrix…

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Downtown Jersey City Health Markets

Many of my NYC clients find themselves foraging for health food in Jersey City after their colonics. Look no further… here is a list of my favorite health markets in Jersey City and what they each offer:

Subia’s Organic Cafe: About a ten minute walk from the Doody Free Girl headquarters, Subia’s is located at 506 Jersey Ave. Subia’s is both a small health market and vegan cafe owned by two sisters. Patience is a virtue here, so don’t come here if you’re in a rush, although it’s well-worth the wait. The soup of the day is always an excellent option post-colonic or a fresh juice/smoothie. Everything is organic. Closed on Mondays.

Key Food: All you city folk know about Key Food. Well, there’s one in Jersey City about a five minute walk from the Doody shop, located at 574 Jersey Avenue (about a ten minute walk down the street from Subia’s Organic Cafe). This Key Food has plenty of fresh produce and healthy snacks.

P&K Fruit Market: This friendly family-owned health bodega in downtown Jersey City has the best avocados in town. I practically stop in here daily to grab avocados, limes, and a box of organic greens. They also carry a great line of local vegan cheeses and vegan burgers called Jersey City Veggie Burgers in the freezer section that only read a handful of recognizable ingredients.

Nature’s House: Another friendly family-owned health market that offers fresh juices in the front along with many specialty items throughout. There isn’t a whole lot of fresh food here, but it’s fun to browse through the teas, incense, body products and supplements. They also carry my favorite coffee alternative, Dandy Blend.

 

Happy New Year!

Happy New Years, everybody! You may already know that I love me some resolutions

Last year, my aim was to clean out my liver because Andreas Moritz, author of The Liver and Gallbladder Miracle Cleanse, connects body imbalance to a congested liver. Just before the new year last year, I was experiencing terrible menstrual cramps. My client who pointed me to Moritz’s liver cleanse affirmed that severe menstrual cramps are an abnormal occurrence that can be addressed by cleaning out the liver, which is responsible for proper circulation. By end of 2015, I completed five or six (I forget) liver cleanses and I can now say (knock on wood) that I have not experienced a horrible menstrual cramp since 2014.

Oddly enough, I haven’t really made any resolutions for 2016. I guess overall, I want to keep my email inbox under 1,000 emails and to drink more water. It’s going to be a tough year!

 

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Fart Basel Miami 2015

Art Basel Miami – one of the world’s biggest art shows for art collectors and spectators alike – just wrapped up its 13th annual show complete with art, swanky parties, stabbings, and such….but don’t worry, @FartBasel has got you covered…

What you know about my GREEN FART SQUAD!? ☘ #kimsimonson #fartbasel #artbasel

A photo posted by Fart Basel (@fartbasel) on

HOLD THE PHONE: @deandeluca is literally cutting the cheese. #FARTBASEL win ??? A photo posted by Fart Basel (@fartbasel) on

META ? #regram @carlstwitt

A photo posted by Fart Basel (@fartbasel) on

SHIT JUST GOT REAL. ? (Stabbing at the fair #regram @jerrysaltz) A photo posted by Fart Basel (@fartbasel) on

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!! I am so grateful for my family, friends/clients and new clients alike…wishing you all a wonderful day! In honor of you, I would love to extend my Brown Friday special to all new and existing clients. This Friday and Saturday colonics are 20% off!!! Email me for appointments. xoxo jen

 

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Monsters Inside Me Season Premiere!

No, I don’t get excited for Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Mad Men, Homeland, Modern Family, House of Cards, or vampire shit…

I do however, get excited for the Real Housewives, Shark Tank, anything on ID network AND most of all……

Monsters Inside Me

You may think I just have bad taste in television programming, but I beg of you to watch the two hour season premiere of Monsters Inside Me airing on the Animal Planet at 8pm this week…you may or may not regret it…

Tom’s Famous Salad

Doody Free Girl is closed on Tuesdays because I work in Manhattan every Tuesday at Release NYC, where I was trained back in 2009 by the owner and my mentor, Tom DeVito. For those following my blog, you know Tom DeVito is a fucking anomaly. Last night, we had a belated 53rd birthday celebration for the guinea at the Flatiron Room, a scotch whiskey lounge complete with live music, where we discovered the joys of LaGavulin Double Matured Single Malt Scotch Whiskey.

But before heading to the lounge, Tom and I completed a day full of intestinal cleanings followed by a dinner composed of Tom’s Famous Salad. I felt impelled to share this recipe with you because I’ve already taken two glorious dumps this morning even though I’m normally a once-a-dayer. Whether credit is due to the whiskey or the salad is unimportant because both are delicious! Cheers!

Tom’s Famous Salad (feeds a village, but only one Tom DeVito)

1 head romaine
1 bunch curly kale
1 box heirloom cherry tomatoes
2 avocados
herbamare
garlic powder
onion powder
cayenne pepper
oregano
fresh lime juice of 1 lime

First ya gotta clean yuh kale and yuh ledduce. Then yuh gotta spin dat shit til it’s dry. I friggin hate soggy greens…

Translation: Clean the greens and spin dry using a salad spinner. Mix with the chopped tomatoes, avocado & lime juice and smother with as much seasoning as you fancy. Enjoy your epic bowel movement tomorrow!

Happy Fall!

James Bae, an acupuncturist I used to see regularly when I lived in Brooklyn, is a practitioner of Ayurveda, an ancient, holistic Indian medical system that uses food and herbs as medicine. He would tell me that the Fall is the season for colon cleansing! It had something to do with the change of seasons and as you know, I’m always game for a good Colon Blow.

James would also look at my tongue before we even got started with the needles because in Ayurveda, the tongue is a roadmap to one’s health. It is literally an extension of the digestive tract and different textures, lines, films and shapes can indicate an imbalance in the body.

According to naturopath Caroline Robertson,

Before assessing your tongue it helps to know what a healthy tongue looks like. Likened to a little kitten’s tongue, it is uniformly pink, similar to a skinned chicken. It is oval in shape, neither too thick nor too thin and has an even width. When sticking out it’s naturally straight rather than veering to one side. The tongue of a healthy person will remain still and strong, not quivering, flaccid or stiff. A healthy tongue has a thin transparent or white coating. It displays all taste buds and is free from red or glassy patches, deep cuts and denuded patches. It is neither too dry nor too wet and it doesn’t emit a bad odor or taste. The veins on the underside of the tongue will not be distended or dark.

Any sort of cracks, coatings, patches, raised areas, discolorations or indentations in the center of the tongue and/or the back center of the tongue can indicate some sort of imbalance in the stomach and intestines.

Book your Fall Colon Blow today!