Breastmilk Is For Babies.

Last year for my birthday, my brother gifted me a 23andMe heredity kit to see if we were, in fact, related. Turns out we are both definitively at least 50% “East Asian & Native American,” which apparently puts me down for “likely lactose intolerant.” I honestly never thought about this. I knew that certain cultures,Continue reading “Breastmilk Is For Babies.”

Charcoal for Your Ass and Teeth!

Activated charcoal seems to be all the rage this year. Being in the ass business, I’ve learned from Tom DeVito that activated charcoal should be recommended for food poisoning and from Mike Perrine that it can used for heavy metal detox as well. I have also learned from a client that it can help with excessiveContinue reading “Charcoal for Your Ass and Teeth!”

Back That Ass Up

I’m a huge fan of the late John. A. Pagano, a chiropractor and free thinker who wrote Healing Psoriasis in the 90s when the United States was heading more in the direction of chemical convenience and less in the direction of holistic healing. I will sum his book up with this: cleanse your liver, getContinue reading “Back That Ass Up”

Memorial Day Weekend Forecast: Shit

This weekend is looking like rain with a chance of shit balls. So take advantage of this last opportunity to get your beach belly ready for the big reveal! I’m around all weekend, folks. Make your gravity colonic appointment for Saturday or Sunday 🙂

Put Your Best Shit Forward

I have a confession: I’m a hypocrite. One of my pet peeves is everyone’s portrayal of perfection on social media, yet I only put my best shit forward as well. You’ve seen my cat, Micro, peeing and pooping like a champ day in and day out on my Instagram Story. She effortlessly hops up onContinue reading “Put Your Best Shit Forward”

Wet Dreams

I’m never one to analyze my dreams unless it’s something weird like giving birth, chewing gum sticking to the roof of my mouth or not being able to run away from danger. Apparently, I pop babies out pretty easily, but trying to scrape off chewing gum that’s melted all over the roof of my mouthContinue reading “Wet Dreams”

A Tight Squeeze

Yesterday I was wearing these “cool” new yoga leggings, but had to take them off in the middle of the day to work pant-less because they were giving me gas. Not so fucking cool. I felt the need to write this post because almost instantaneously, my gas went away. Comfort (and especially bowel health) shouldContinue reading “A Tight Squeeze”

Just Add Vinegar.

Growing up, my mother cleaned the entire house every single weekend. I would wake up to the sound of the annoying vacuum cleaner and the pungent smell of vinegar, Clorox bleach and/or Windex. What I would give now to wake up to someone magically cleaning up after me on autopilot week in, week out! Instead,Continue reading “Just Add Vinegar.”

Happy Holidays!!!

Hanukkah and Christmas fall on the same day/week this year. I will be offering Confession and Mikveh to anyone interested. Book your colonic appointments today!      

iPoo on Calling Exboyfriends

I apologize for any texts/calls I may have missed over the weekend. It is very unlike me to not respond within a few hours of receiving a message without good reason. I got my phone back this weekend, but not without a two hour visit to Verizon Wireless and two hours of quality phone timeContinue reading “iPoo on Calling Exboyfriends”