About two years ago, I got a bad case of ringworm on my left forearm. Ringworm really isn’t as gross as it sounds. It’s basically the same fungus as groin itch and athlete’s foot. Okay, maybe that is pretty disgusting. But it’s not like a creepy crawly worm was wiggling in my skin.

Ringworm forms as a ring of raised scaly skin and is easily recognizable. Just google it and you’ll see what was on my arm. I tried all the natural remedies recommended online including apple cider vinegar and essential oils. Trust me, I am all about natural remedies, but I believe I gave myself a second degree burn from applying the apple cider vinegar and I think the essential oils were only irritating it further. I ignorantly kept telling myself that it was working! I even convinced myself colonics would help flush out the fungus!

It wasn’t until my forearm got so inflamed from all of the itching and scratching (ringworm is itchy as all hell) that I seriously thought I might need to have it amputated, that I decided to go to Urgent Care. That and my mother lecturing me on how it took months to cure her dog, Freddy, of ringworm. The doctor at the Urgent Care prescribed antibiotics because he informed me that since there was puss excreting from the infection, it meant that the fungus was traveling through my system and only antibiotics could kill it at that point. He gave me some antibiotics and a vaseline like ointment to heal the skin. The ringworm cleared within days!

Two days ago, I started experiencing some eczema in the exact area of the ringworm. (I have a scar there to remind me that sometimes you just need meds). So I can’t help but wonder if this is the ringworm coming back to haunt me. It’s not in the shape of a ring, but I’m experiencing that same heated itchiness that I will never forget. Is this one of the side effects from the Liver Cleanse?? Or perhaps the Kidney Cleanse that I’m still in the middle of? The second it starts looking like a ring, I’m running to Urgent Care! Until then, I’ll be applying home remedies of oregano oil mixed with coconut oil even though it smells like B.O. because I’ll never forget how constipating the antibiotics were.

I initially started writing this post because I thought I found a secret remedy called Tropical Tamanu oil, which has been collecting dust in my medicine cabinet for years. I bought this a million years ago because some idiot at Whole Foods told me it would get rid of some scars I have on my legs. It didn’t. And it was expensive. And just like apple cider vinegar, it doesn’t get rid of ringworm either.

So everyone wants to know how I got this fungus on my arm when it normally manifests in moist areas that aren’t exposed to much sunlight. And the answer is: I don’t want to know.