In an earlier post demanding that guys take better care of their toilets, I failed to mention how despicably filthy women can be when using public toilets. Ironically, men’s public bathrooms are notoriously cleaner than women’s.

I’m sick of walking into a public bathroom and slowly checking out the stalls through my periphery in fear of having my heart jump at the sight of either diarrhea splattered on the seat or period juice smeared all over the front and sides of the toilet seat. How does that happen anyway?  And what respectable woman does not a) glance back down at the toilet to make sure there are no streaks waiting to disgust the next guest and then b) flush the toilet?!!

“Ladies,” let’s be ladies. Let’s end these vomit-inducing trips to the public bathroom. I don’t know about you, but the bathroom is my sanctuary. I love relieving myself and then admiring myself in the mirror for roughly five minutes. I may even throw in a handwash if there’s some delicious smelling handsoap or an Xlerator hand dryer just because I like to see the skin on my hands flap around like sheets in the wind. So after pooping, peeing, and/or vomiting, please wipe yourself AND don’t forget the seat. Merci.