A Tight Squeeze

Yesterday I was wearing these “cool” new yoga leggings, but had to take them off in the middle of the day to work pant-less because they were giving me gas. Not so fucking cool.

I felt the need to write this post because almost instantaneously, my gas went away. Comfort (and especially bowel health) should not be compromised to squeeze into the latest trend, especially when it comes to workout clothing. Clothing is meant to accommodate and cover your body, not squeeze you so tight you have zero room to even pass gas.

Did you know the average person passes a balloon’s worth of gas each day? (Thank you @IFuckingLoveScience). Now imagine if you were unable to pass any gas and how uncomfortable you would generally feel. Gas can make you feel like you’re having a heart attack, give you heartburn, give you back pain and it can make you burp like a trucker – there’s nothing wrong with burping to alleviate the gas pressure, but if you’re burping because you’re majorly backed up, then your fumes probably like shit.

You fart a balloon's worth of gas a day

 

I know a lot of women who are avid Spanx consumers. I find it hard to believe that wearing Spanx on the regular won’t fuck you up in the long run. Dr. Holly of CBS News declares that shapewear is the new girdle, causing all sorts of issues from rib compression to nerve compression, abdominal distention and even blood clotting.  I have always found regular tights to give me gas, so I wouldn’t even dream of spending all day in Spanx. Anything that will hold your stomach in all day, while keeping you from farting is bound to contribute to some major internal gas pressure that will ultimately result in bowel distention. But at least no one will notice because Spanx will be containing your bloated ass…right?!

Rather than continue this torture, I believe the best clothing are stylish, bloat-friendly clothing. I’ve created Pinterest boards for both men and women on what I consider timeless, bloat-friendly fashion. You can now let it all hang out without feeling like a total slob. I will also be creating a board for workout clothing because your midsection should feel sore from your workout, not from your workout clothes.